Relationships with Thai women - is money important?

Living, going with or marrying a Thai Woman?

How Important is Money?

 

Can I understand Thai people. Will they accept me? How important is Money to them?
YES, they will accept you all the time you have MONEY! If you don`t have money, you can NEVER be accepted in Thailand. Their beliefs are based totally on true family values. Look after the family financially, and all the time your money lasts – you will appear to be accepted.  However, if your money ceases, you will have no relationship whatsoever. This is evident even if you`re married engaged or simply going with a Thai! Ask yourself this “Why do l need to get married”? The simple answer to that question is - you don`t!

If you`ve got money, and can support a Thai family, you have no reason whatsoever to get married – unless you`ve had a child, and believe it is an honourable tradition! Whatever, unless you are “one in a million”, you will never just marry her, you will more often than not, become the treasury for the entire family. Even if you marry and take her to your home outside Thailand, she will expect a regular payment from you to send home to her family. So beware If at any time - you cannot supply her with regular payments. It is fair to say that if she can find work in your country, she will work – but don`t think you have any rights to her money. That money she earns is for her Thai family, and as such it is usually sent home on a monthly basis. Thais believe, that as her husband, fiancée or boyfriend, she is your partner and the onus is fully on you to look after her (and them), to the extent that your finances will allow!

In these times of world recession, and cutbacks, I am confident that many (normal) marriages are feeling the strain brought on through financial hardship. Well imagine the precarious situation that those men currently married to Thai women now find themselves in. Here`s a unfortunate example:-

“While on holiday in Pattaya, an American guy met and fell for a bar girl. In less than a year, he bought her to The USA where they married. After a year or so, he was made redundant and facing financial problems. He was unable to sustain regular payments to his wife’s family in Thailand, and as a result he received a threatening letter from his father in-law. He stated that unless he (the husband) could supply them with a regular income, he would insist that his daughter returns home and resumes work as a bar girl to supply them with a regular monthly income! He ignored the letter, but sure enough, a couple of months later his “wife” left him, and returned home to Thailand to work, and indeed supply the family with money”!. 

So think about that carefully! What`s the difference between living with or marrying a Thai? There is none whatsoever! Your Thai lady will still respect you whether you`re married or not – and yes you`ve guessed it – that is all the time you have MONEY! So what`s the point? I don`t think there`s any figures available to show how many marriages between Thai women and falangs don`t work out, but I would guess it`s as high as 60% – 75%, as many of the separations are not finalised in the courts. Yes, I`m quite confident that this will spark a reaction from those who are happily married (and there are some), but believe me, these are certainly in the minority - not the majority.



    You will NEVER be fully accepted into a Thai family, even if you marry and have children. your money is all that`s important – not you, and that I`m sorry to tell you, this is a fact of life! Thais are Buddhists! It`s not a religion, its beliefs are based on “teachings” and a great number of these concern direct family values. There is very little foundation centred on community values, and as most teachings are based on self-values.

Thai`s appear to think that they will never be caught when lying. Even when they are, they believe that they can either smooth over or sweet talk their way out of the situation. If not, they hope their partner will take note of the lie but turn a blind eye to the situation. So once they both appreciate that the lie has been “brought out into the open”, this practise is often adopted in order to save the initiator from losing face. Thais are also not an intellectual force... in any way. You may enjoy looking at them, and having fun with them, but long run commitments to them soon become tiresome.

These are just a couple of points to consider, if you`re thinking of living, going with or marrying a Thai women.
So apart from money, why would a Thai woman marry you? In fact I would go so far as to say that she probably has many motives for marrying you, and is just waiting to see which opportunities present themselves. This statement shouldn’t be seen as necessarily something negative, as most Thai women probably have many reasons for marrying a particular person, but given the basic view of honesty in Thai society, the lack of remorse, and the exceptional ability to rationalize unscrupulous acts, the potential for dishonesty, manipulation, and deceit is very high. 

So apart from your money, if you`re thinking of living or going with or even marriage to a Thai lady, beware of the many pitfalls!